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Paddy Englishman, Paddy Scottishman and Paddy Irishman
were boasting about their Uncles being so famous.
Paddy Englishman says, My Uncles desended from the Kings of England
and when he uncle walks down the street, everybody bows down and says, Your Madjesty, Sir.
Paddy Scottishman says,
My Uncles a Bishop and when he walks down the street, everybody bows down and says, Your Honour, Sir.
Paddy Irishman
says, My Uncle weighs 25 stone and when everybody sees him they say, Lord ALMIGHTY!! |
| Stephen |
Larne Co. Antrim N.Ireland |
no URL given |
| 10/7/2004 5:51:53 AM |
Paddy Englishman, Paddy Scottishman and Paddy Irishman
were on a plane and was about to crash and the pilot said to do something religious before they die.
Paddy Scottishman
said the Lord's Prayer.
Paddy Englishman sang Amazing Grace.
Paddy Irishman took his cap off and went round
everybody and took the collection. |
| Stephen |
Larne Co.Antrim N.Ireland |
no URL given |
| 10/7/2004 5:45:48 AM |
Paddy Irishman's Great inventions (or so he thinks):
A
pedal powered wheelchair.
Waterproof teabags.
An underwater hair dryer.
Windscreen wipers for submarines.
Non-stick
sticky tape.
An inflatable dartboard for campers.
An index for a dictionary.
Beer glasses with square bases so
they don’t leave rings on the bar.
Ejector seats in helicopters.
Underground airports.
Wind-down windows
on a submarine.
Unsinkable submarine.
Boomerang bullets.
Air-conditioners for motorbikes.
Anti-lock cars.
Toxic
Toothpaste.
An ashtray for a motorbike.
Waterproof sponges.
Fireproof Matches.
Parachutes that open on impact.
The
one-piece jigsaw puzzle.
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| Stephen |
Larne N.Ireland Antrim |
no URL given |
| 10/7/2004 3:22:01 AM |
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Paddy Englishman, Paddy Scotishman and Paddy Irishman, were outside on a cold,
wet and stormy night so they looked around for somewhere to stay for the night, but everywhere they went there were no vaccancies
bar one. it was old and didn't look too pleasing but they went ahead with it.
They went and booked the night and the
owner said to them that they had a choice of three beds. A bed of Fire, a bed of Nails and a bed of Fleas.
Paddy Englishman
chose the bed of Fire.
Paddy Scotishman chose the bed of Nails and Paddy Irishman chose the bed of Fleas.
Over breakfast
the next morning they discussed how they slept.
Paddy Englishman said, That bed of Fire kept me up all night and i
couldn't get any sleep and im scorched all over.
Thats nothing compared to my nights sleep! said Paddy Scottishman.
That bed of Nails poked me all over when i turned and now im in pain.
Paddy Irishman said to the both of them, I slept
like a baby!
How did you manage to get to sleep with all of the fleas biting and crawling over you? Asked Paddy Scottishman.
Quite
simple really. I killed one flea and the rest went to the Funeral!
| 7/26/2004 2:37:58 PM |
An Englishman and a Scotsman were playing golf together
when The Englishman's ball hit Paddy.
When Paddy came to, he said to The Englishman, That will cost you five thousand
pounds in compensation.'
'But I said fore,' said The Englishman.
I'll take it,' said Paddy
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| Paddy |
Newry N. Ireland |
http://paddytheirishman.com |
| 7/26/2004 2:33:43 PM |
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all claimed
to be The most famous of The three of them.
'I'm known all over England,' said The Englishman.
'I'm known
all over The world and other places besides,' said The Scotsman.
'Let me show you both how famous I am,' said
The Irishman. So they all travelled to Italy together, to The Vatican and into St Peter's Square.
The Englishman and
The Scotsman looked up and saw Paddy The Irish- man standing on The balcony with his arm around The Pope, waving to The crowd.
An Italian standing nearby said to The Englishman and The Scotsman, 'Who's that fellow on The balcony beside The Irishman?'
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| Paddy |
Newry N. Ireland |
http://paddytheirishman.com |
| 7/26/2004 2:31:41 PM |
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were invited
to have dinner with a bishop. They were told that The bishop was very formal and that everything said at The meal had to be
chanted in rhyming verse.
The Englishman went: 'Your honour divine Will you pass me The wine?'
The Scotsman went: 'Your
honour supreme Will you pass me The cream?'
The Irishman went: You baldy headed bugger Will you pass me The sugar?' |
| Paddy |
Newry N. Ireland |
http://paddytheirishman.com |
| 7/26/2004 2:30:27 PM |
The Englishman and The Scotsman were boasting about
The size of their estates.
'I can get into my car at seven o'clock in The morning,' said The Englishman, 'and drive and
drive all around my estate and not get back until four o'clock in The afternoon.'
'I can get into my car at six o'clock
in The morning,' said The Scotsman, 'and drive and drive all around my estate and not get back until seven o'clock in The
evening.'
'I had an old car like that too myself once,' said The Irishman.
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| Paddy |
Newry N. Ireland |
http://paddytheirishman.com |
| 7/26/2004 2:30:24 PM |
The Englishman and The Scotsman were boasting about
The size of their estates.
'I can get into my car at seven o'clock in The morning,' said The Englishman, 'and drive and
drive all around my estate and not get back until four o'clock in The afternoon.'
'I can get into my car at six o'clock
in The morning,' said The Scotsman, 'and drive and drive all around my estate and not get back until seven o'clock in The
evening.'
'I had an old car like that too myself once,' said The Irishman.
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| Paddy |
Newry N. Ireland |
http://paddytheirishman.com |
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